Thursday, February 23, 2012

An Ounce of Decorum, PLEASE!?!?!?

Someone told me this morning that I look tired.  And that someone wasn't my mom, my sisters, my husband, or even a friend.  It was one of my male co-workers.  Someone who I consider more of an acquaintance than anything else - someone I know BECAUSE I work with him.  Someone I would never, under any circumstance, relate any personal or intimate details of my life to.  Someone who spends lots of time complaining about the fact that I am in the position I'm in, who has always asked for things that are not appropriate to his position, and who, two seconds before telling me that I looked tired, tried to give me advice about my job that was unsolicited and totally unnecessary.  Immediately after the the word "tired" left this guy's mouth, I wanted to lunge across my desk and claw his eyes out.  It literally took every ounce of energy I had stored, to get me through another hellacious day at work, not to wind back my (until that moment) limp hand and slap the smug bastard square on the cheek.

When did it become socially acceptable for a co-worker to comment on how you look without fear of repercussion?  It would be almost acceptable for someone who I chat with on a daily basis to make mention of my lack of energy in passing if we were having a conversation that was not strictly work-related.  But for this guy, who I engage in conversation maybe once every two weeks, to make a comment on my appearance, is downright brazen, and, extremely annoying.

Even more infuriating to me is that, yes, I actually am tired today.  And maybe if he had said something like, "Hey, you don't look like your usual self today, is everything OK?" instead of his blatantly stated, "You look tired," (which, through my ears, sounded like "You look like SH*T today") I may have been less moody about it.

It's a good thing for him that I literally responded with a quick "Hi, nice to see you today.  Now get out of my office and have a nice day." rather than my aforementioned (and seriously contemplated) b*tch slap.  What I learned, though, is that brushing off his unwelcome attack on my appearance just lead him to keep saying, "What, you really do look tired," and "Gee, guess the new job really is getting to you, huh?"


If someone ever said, "Get out of my office" to me - whether I thought it was in jest or not - I would make a move to leave.  And I would ONLY stick around if the person followed their demand for my removal with a quick "hey, I'm just kidding," or "it was a joke, get back in here," or even if the person laughed.

But I was NOT laughing.  (Remember - I *actually* am tired today - and therefore was NOT in the mood for any jokes or comical interaction) I meant business.  And I didn't crack a smile when I said, "get out of my office."  How this guy didn't understand that I meant what I said at that point made me wonder how his wife actually lives with him.  Because even blatant statements delivered without humor don't get him to understand that he's crossed a line.

To make matters worse, he needed something from me this afternoon.  He came into my office and said, "Hey Sarah, you're looking especially chipper today," before he asked for what he needed.  So I guess he eventually got that he shouldn't have told me that I looked tired to begin with.  But, really, do you need to bring it up again???

Why is everyone so bizarre?

Maybe it's just me.

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