Monday, October 1, 2012

Another Year Gone

Well, it technically hasn't been a full year since I started blogging, but, since I started this blog to write about my experiences as a 30-year-old, and I just celebrated my 31st birthday last week, I feel like I've hit some kind of milestone in life and as a "blogger."  (Blogger is in quotes because, really, I'm just an occaisonal writer who uses a blog to express my thoughts on a *very* random and irregular schedule).

I don't know how I feel about being 31.  Honestly.  It's not that it's really a big deal - I mean, really, what's the difference between 30 and 31?  Seemingly not much.  But, some things have happened over the past year that, in general, make me realize, with impressive clarity, that being in your thirties and going through each year does truly have an impact on life as you  know it.

The number one thing that has happened is that my physical appearance has actually started to change.  I am noticing wrinkles around my eyes now, and I developed sun spots on my face sometime in the early summer.  Yeah, those things are permanent, and drastically alter the way you look - so for those of you reading this who are younger than me -- For the Love of Zeus - LISTEN TO EVERYONE WHO TELLS YOU TO WEAR SUNSCREEN...AND DO IT!!!!  EVERY DAY!!!!  NO EXCEPTIONS!!!!  *trust me, your future self will thank you*

Another thing that has started to happen is that I feel tired more often, and earlier than I used to.  Now, this could be from getting older as much as it could be from lack of physical activity in my day to day life - but regardless, it's strange.  I literally fall asleep on the couch 3-4 nights a week - when I'm actually watching something on TV that I'm interested in.  Forget about putting me on the couch to watch something ridiculous - I'll be out like a light before the opening credits have finished rolling.

A large number of my peers have started families this year - from cousins to friends - it seems that my 30th year brought me more reasons to buy baby paraphernalia than ever before.  Not that it's a bad thing, I love meeting all the new tiny people and seeing the ecstatic, albeit tired, faces of my nearest and dearest who are starting the journey of parenthoood.  But, like anything that surrounds you in abundance, I find myself thinking more and more about my decision to not have children.  I still maintain my position of not wanting to be a parent, but since all of my friends are going through things that I'm never planning on experiencing, it makes me stop to think about my resolution more often than I ever have before.

And, finally, I'm realizing that I actually am a person who has meaning and substance and responsibilities.  Before you ask, the answer is: yes, I always kind of knew these things somewhat.  But my younger self seemed to invest a lot of time and energy explaining why a host of things, outside of my control, were the reason for my lack of ambition, my disinterest in politics, my laziness related to everyday activities (like cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.).  Within this last year, I have realized that the only person responsible for my actions is me.  I have a ton of resources at my fingertips that, if I chose to use them or expend some energy investigating, would probably shorten my list of ailments and complaints by several yards.  I am the only person responsible for my actions, and it is my responsibility to decide how I want to live my life.  My choices and the results of those choices belong to me.

These few things are shaping up how I look into the future and the continuation of my 3rd decade of life.  I'm sure this next year will add more insight into the wisdom that comes from living.  Thank you for those that have been reading my very irregular posts.  I promise to keep posting things once in a blue moon for your enjoyment.

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